Women with resources are slower to marry and remarry, and are more likely to cohabitate with a partner. Women are also more likely to purchase homes on their own, build female friendships, and engage in community-based work. As women increase their earnings and status, women are also more open to date outside their ethnicity.
Five Ukrainian women, in an Ukrainian art museum. They are sleeping, or rather pretending to sleep, dressed up as Sleeping Beauty. Men come along and kiss them, on the lips, with each man allowed only one kiss. They have all signed legally binding contracts. If a woman responds to a kiss by opening her eyes and “waking,” she must marry the man. The man must marry the woman.
{ Marginal Revolution | Continue reading }
There are five Sleeping Beauties total; each takes turns, sleeping on the raised white satin bed for two hours at a time. […]
On September 5, the first Sleeping Beauty in Polataiko’s exhibition awoke to a kiss from another woman. Both of them were surprised. […]
Now the Sleeping Beauty must wed her “prince.” […] Gay marriage is not allowed in the Ukraine, however, so these two women will have to wed in a European country that does allow for same-sex marriage.
art { Gustav Klimt, The Virgin, 1913 }
In general, talking about sex with your partner may improve sexual satisfaction. But new research suggests that during sex it’s better to shut up and switch to non-verbal communication of pleasure.
photo { Larry Clark }
To be a ‘success’ in evolutionary terms, women need to have access to resources for raising offspring, and men need to have access to fertile females. Researchers have argued that women tend to prefer partners who have an ability to invest resources in their children (i.e., wealthy men), and men tend to prefer partners who appear fertile (i.e., young women) because evolutionary adaptations have programmed these preferences in our brains.
But in the modern world, ‘success’ is not necessarily tied to offspring, so researchers […] hypothesized that the influence of evolutionary biases on mate choice would decline proportionally with nations’ gender parity, or the equality between men and women. […] They found that the gender difference in mate preferences predicted by evolutionary psychology models “is highest in gender-unequal societies, and smallest in the most gender-equal societies,” according to Zentner.
Nowhere in the United States do you have the right to credibly contract for a lifetime marital partnership.
Every state currently allows some form of “no fault” divorce - divorce not based on any wrongdoing of a party, but simply because the parties claim they don’t want to be married anymore. Even though the couple may “vow” to remain together until one of them dies, everyone knows these vows have no legal or real-world effect. The marital “contract” is not a contract at all.
Imagine a regular legal contract in which either party could end the agreement by saying he didn’t like it anymore. […]
Marriage once did have a legal effect - once married, parties could not divorce without a really good reason (physical cruelty, desertion, or adultery). Not coincidentally, marriages were much more likely to be reliable lifetime partnerships.
photo { Sam Haskins }
Emotion recognition, a core component of emotional intelligence, is the general ability to recognize emotions. […]
For decades, researchers have known that skill in emotion recognition predicts positive outcomes in a wide range of contexts. From business executives to foreign service officers to elementary school principals, studies have shown a positive association between skill in emotion recognition and success in a wide variety of educational, workplace, or organizational contexts. Sensitivity to the internal states of colleagues, note the authors, can assist in coordinating activities and working independently. Emotion recognition, however, is a complex skill.
A person can express emotion by voice tones, facial expressions, body movements, or a combination of these “channels.” Each channel or combination can communicate a number of different emotions. […] Our facial expressions are, according to published research, highly controllable, express the information we choose to communicate, and as a result, “this information is more subject to impression management.” Emotion information conveyed through body movement or voice channels, however, may provide, according to the authors, a truer window into a person’s feelings. The ability to control the expression of emotion through these channels is more difficult, and requires more effort. […]
Emotion recognition is about reading social cues. The researchers label this skill “nonverbal eavesdropping.” […] Some people have problems when they lack the ability to read social cues around them. The study authors noted that some people have a different kind of problem with emotion recognition: They have the potential to “read too much” in a particular situation. […]
Sadness was the easiest emotion to recognize and fear the most difficult;
Accuracy did not differ across positive versus negative emotions;
Accuracy varied by channel, with emotions easier to recognize through facial photographs than vocal tone;
Anger and fear were more easier to recognize in the voice;
Happiness and sadness were relatively easier to recognize in the face;
Emotional eavesdropping ability varied significantly across emotions, with anger and fear were more easily eavesdropped than happiness or sadness;
artwork { Pablo Picasso, Femme étendue lisant, 1952 }
Married couples who undergo long-term separations appear to be those who can’t afford to divorce, a new nationwide study suggests.
Researchers found that about 80 percent of all respondents who went through a marital separation ultimately divorced, most within three years.
About 5 percent attempted to reconcile. But 15 percent of separations didn’t lead to divorce or reconciliation within 10 years. Couples in these long-term separations tended to be racial and ethnic minorities, have low family income and education, and have young children.
“Long-term separation seems to be the low-cost, do-it-yourself alternative to divorce for many disadvantaged couples,” said Dmitry Tumin, co-author of the study and a doctoral student in sociology at Ohio State University.
photo { Richard Klingshirn, The Mini Dress, 1980 }
New research examining relationships and the use of alcohol finds that while a long-term marriage appears to curb men’s drinking, it’s associated with a slightly higher level of alcohol use among women.
photo { Stephen Shore }
“Smile when you walk into a room. See the group with the target and follow the three-second rule. Do not hesitate—approach instantly. Recite a memorized opener, if not two or three in a row. The opener should open the group, not just the target. When talking, ignore the target for the most part. If there are men in the group, focus your attention on the men. Neg the target with one of the slew of negs we’ve come up with. Tell her, ‘It’s so cute. Your nose wiggles when you laugh.’ Then get her friends to notice and laugh about it.” —Neil Strauss, author of The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists
The above excerpt from Strauss’s 2005 NY Times bestselling book illustrates just a few of the many tactics outlined for men to pick-up women. These tactics endorse the concept of using aggressiveness and intentional manipulation to select, pursue, isolate, and sexually conquer women. […]
Hall and Canterberry (2011) looked at characteristics of men who use pickup tactics, and the characteristics of women who find them appealing. They found that these men held a more negative attitude toward women, an overt justification of male privilege, and viewed women as lovable yet helpless and vulnerable. They targeted females who were more physically attractive and could be used as a “status marker.” Women who responded positively to these men held more traditional and stereotypic gender roles (i.e., a warm woman, a strong man), and preferred men of high status and resources who could provide for them. […]
But do these tactics really work? […] They found that men who flirted in a more dominant, obnoxious, and physical style were more likely to develop casual relationships with women faster and had more sexual chemistry with them. […] This flirting style communicates an interest in a one-night stand as opposed to a long-term relationship, and this is appealing to women who are interested in the same thing. According to these women, their flirting was not taken as a lack of romantic interest, but rather, as an invitation to respond with submissive playfulness.
According to new research published this week in the journal PLoS ONE, times of stress turn everyday men into ass men. […]
After they were shown images of women of different shapes and sizes, the stressed out dudes preferred ladies who happened to have bigger behinds.
{ LA Weekly | Continue reading | Thanks Serge! }
New research from the University of Notre Dame shows that when people managed to reduce their lies in given weeks across a 10-week study, they reported significantly improved physical and mental health in those same weeks. […]
“We found that the participants could purposefully and dramatically reduce their everyday lies, and that in turn was associated with significantly improved health,” says lead author Anita Kelly. […]
The study also revealed positive results in participants’ personal relationships, with those in the no-lie group reporting improved relationship and social interactions overall going more smoothly when they told no lies.
Sex differences in relationship regret: The role of perceived mate characteristics
[…]
Regret reported by men in both study 1 and study 2 varied as a function of the perceived attractiveness of the participants’ actual and potential mate. Regret reported by women in study 2 varied as a function of the perceived stinginess of the participant’s mate and perceived wealth of the participants’ potential mate. Study 3 found that sex differences in type of regret (with men regretting inaction more than women) occurred only when the mate presented in the scenario was described in ways consistent with mate preferences. Together these findings suggest that regret differs between the sexes in ways consistent with sex differences in mate preferences.
You’re on the bus, and one of the only free seats is next to you. How, and why, do you stop another passenger sitting there?
New research reveals the tactics commuters use to avoid each other, a practice the paper describes as ‘nonsocial transient behavior.’ […]
“Avoiding other people actually requires quite a lot of effort and this is especially true in confined spaces like public transport.”
They might say that sex between people who are in love is special (maybe even sacred), but they also know sex is part of the partnership of getting through life together and has to be considered pragmatically as well. Even people in love do not have identical physical and emotional needs, with the result that sex takes different forms and means more or less on different occasions. […]
Part of the mythology of love promises that loving couples will always want and enjoy sex together, unproblematically, freely and loyally. But most people know that couples are multi-faceted partnerships, sex together being only one facet, and that those involved very often tire of sex with each other. Although skeptics say today’s high divorce rate shows the love-myth is a lie, others say the problem is that lovers aren’t able or willing to do the work necessary to stay together and survive personal, economic and professional changes. Some of this work may well be sexual. In some partnerships where the spark has gone, partners grant each other the freedom to have sex with others, or pay others to spice up their own sex lives (as a couple or separately). This can take the form of a polyamorous project, with open contracts; as swinging, where couples play with others together; as polygamy or temporary marriage; as cheating or betrayal; or as paying for sex. […]
Many people, not just professional sex workers, know that the work of sex can mean allowing the other to take an active role and assuming a passive one as well as taking the active role or switching back and forth. Sometimes people do what they already know they like, and sometimes they experiment. Sometimes people don’t know what they want, or want to be surprised, or to lose control.
For some critics, the possession of money by clients gives them absolute power over workers and therefore means that equality is impossible.
photo { Tim Geoghegan }
Throughout the past several decades, the United States has seen a steady increase in women’s status. Overt sexism is on the decline and women are becoming increasingly well represented in prestigious, high-paying jobs. Despite these welcome improvements, many gender-typed norms related to heterosexual courtship and marriage have remained remarkably stable over time.
For example, it is relatively rare for women to propose marriage to men. In addition, the majority of women still take their husband’s last name upon marriage, whereas few men consider taking their wife’s last name. People typically adhere to marriage-related norms in the name of tradition or romance.
However, there is also reason to believe that these norms are subtle manifestations of sexism within heterosexual romantic relationships. In the present study, we sought to establish an empirical connection between women’s and men’s marriage- tradition preferences and their level of sexism. We began by examining participants’ personal preferences regarding marriage proposals and marital name changes. We then tested whether endorsing benevolent sexism was predictive of holding traditional marriage preferences.
painting { Gérard Gasiorowski, L’Approche, Des Limites de ma pensée, 1970 }
They walked to Ringsend, on the south bank of the Liffey, where (and here we can drop the Dante analogy) she put her hand inside his trousers and masturbated him. It was June 16, 1904, the day on which Joyce set “Ulysses.” When people celebrate Bloomsday, that is what they are celebrating. […]
Joyce had known only prostitutes and proper middle-class girls. Nora was something new, an ordinary woman who treated him as an ordinary man. The moral simplicity of what happened between them seems to have stunned him. It was elemental, a gratuitous act of loving that had not involved flattery or deceit, and that was unaccompanied by shame or guilt. That simplicity became the basis of their relationship.
related { Being in a relationship that others disapprove of }
Nearly 500 species of animals (ranging from mammals through to insects) have been observed performing homosexual behaviour, according to Aldo Poiani, a biologist at the University of Melbourne.
In addition to penguins, he says, koalas, flamingos, giraffes, monkeys, killer whales and dolphins are on list. In some cases, the animals commit themselves to a same-sex partner for life (like penguins), although in other species it appears that they have no preference, but rather act ‘bisexually’. […]
“Homosexual behaviour occurs in over 130 species of birds, yet explaining its maintenance in evolutionary terms appears problematic at face value, as such sexual behaviours do not seem in immediate pursuit of reproductive goals,” McFarlane and colleagues wrote in the journal Animal Behaviour in late 2010. […]
Darwin’s theory of evolution by natural selection suggests that animals, including humans, exist in order to continue their species, or rather, reproduce. It is an evolutionary paradox, says McFarlane, that animals engage in homosexual behaviour when “the prevailing view (is) that sex is for reproduction only”, which makes it scientifically significant to explain. According to Darwin’s theory, it’s a scientific conundrum that evolution hasn’t eliminated individuals that are not going to actively reproduce.
According to RV Kirkpatrick, an anthropologist from the University of California, Davis, in the Darwinian view, individuals should seek to maximise reproductive success. “Homosexual behaviour is too widespread to be a fluke or an aberration, but evolutionists in particular should be puzzled by its ubiquity,” he wrote in the journal Current Anthropology in 2000. […]
One theory is that because the percentage of exclusive homosexuality in both the animal and human world is so small, it poses no threat to the continuation of a species.
photo { Cécile Menendez }
When a romantic relationship isn’t going well it seems like it influences everything in life. This brings up a slew of interesting questions. What is the exact nature of a relationship’s influence on unrelated decisions? How might different kinds of relationship troubles influence people in different ways? For example, in what ways do you behave differently when you’re considering breaking up your significant other as opposed to when you feel like they’re considering breaking up with you? […]
The researchers found that feeling as though your partner was the reason for incompatibility led people to become “promotion focused” – a psychological orientation where the tendency is to be motivated by gains, growth, and not missing out on positive outcomes. On other hand, when people felt that they were the reason for the incompatibility, it led to a “prevention focus” — an orientation where the tendency to is to be motivated by the need to maintain responsibilities and avoid negative outcomes.
photo { Isabel Martinez }
Are human beings intrinsically good but corruptible by the forces of evil, or the reverse, innately sinful yet redeemable by the forces of good? […]
Until about three million years ago the ancestors of Homo sapiens were mostly vegetarians, and they most likely wandered in groups from site to site where fruit, tubers, and other vegetable food could be harvested. Their brains were only slightly larger than those of modern chimpanzees. By no later than half a million years ago, however, groups of the ancestral species Homo erectus were maintaining campsites with controlled fire — the equivalent of nests — from which they foraged and returned with food, including a substantial portion of meat. Their brain size had increased to midsize, between that of chimpanzees and modern Homo sapiens. The trend appears to have begun one to two million years previously, when the earlier prehuman ancestor Homo habilis turned increasingly to meat in its diet. With groups crowded together at a single site, and an advantage added by cooperative nest building and hunting, social intelligence grew, along with the centers of memory and reasoning in the prefrontal cortex.
Probably at this point, during the habiline period, a conflict ensued between individual-level selection, with individuals competing with other individuals in the same group, versus group-level selection, with competition among groups. The latter force promoted altruism and cooperation among all the group members. It led to group-wide morality and a sense of conscience and honor. The competitor between the two forces can be succinctly expressed as follows: within groups selfish individuals beat altruistic individuals, but groups of altruists beat groups of selfish individuals. Or, risking oversimplification, individual selection promoted sin, while group selection promoted virtue.
{ In a study of more than a thousand compliments, women accepted compliments from other women 22% of the time. When they came from men? 68%. | The Beheld | full story }
photo { Bill Sullivan }
