Love is an alien invasion coordinated with sleeper cell revolts. Someone penetrates you and leaves behind a colony that allows the monster inside them to ventriloquize your thoughts. It’s the opportunity that that part of us which cries out to be dominated and longs to be victimized has been waiting for ever since we were born. Everyone knows the best scene in The Manchurian Candidate is the one where Frank Sinatra and Janet Leigh meet on the train. It captures the indistinguishabilty of love from brainwashing, even and especially at its inception. Love is a cancer. You can’t just cut it out. You have to poison your whole body to beat it, kill yourself just enough to keep on living. Love is White Power. Love is Vichy France.

–-Rick Santorum, National Association of Women Against Women, inaugural address

{ If you can read this you’re lying | Continue reading }

painting { Jules Lefebvre, Odalisque, 1874 }

This new research provides a terrific reference list of prior work done on women stalkers and reports a high rate of psychosis among women stalkers. Delusions are the most common symptom in two of the three major studies completed so far. Half of the women stalkers described in prior research had character disorders and women were more likely than men to target a former professional contact (like mental health professionals, teachers or lawyers). It appears that male stalkers are less particular, and more likely to target strangers. Women stalkers seek intimacy.

{ Keen Trial | Continue reading }

photo { Taylor Radelia }

We have all had arguments. Occasionally these reach an agreed upon conclusion but usually the parties involved either agree to disagree or end up thinking the other party hopelessly stupid, ignorant or irrationally stubborn. Very rarely do people consider the possibility that it is they who are ignorant, stupid, irrational or stubborn even when they have good reason to believe that the other party is at least as intelligent or educated as themselves.

Sometimes the argument was about something factual where the facts could be easily checked e.g. who won a certain football match in 1966.

Sometimes the facts aren’t so easily checked because they are difficult to understand but the problem is clear and objective. (…)

Sometimes the facts aren’t as mathematical or logical as the Monty Hall solution. Each party to the argument appeals to ‘facts’ which the other party disputes. (…)

Sometimes the arguments boil down to differences in values. For example, what tastes better chocolate or vanilla ice cream, or who is prettier Jane or Mary? In these cases there isn’t really a correct answer – even when a large majority favors a particular alternative. Values also have a strong way of influencing what people accept as evidence or indeed what they perceive at all.

The interesting thing is that when the disagreement isn’t a pure values difference it should always be possible to reach agreement.

{ Garth Zietsman | Continue reading }

University of Alberta study explores women’s experiences of public change rooms and locker rooms; finds many don’t relish the experience of being naked in front of others.

{ EurekAlert | Continue reading }

In recent years, a small number of researchers have been working to develop the science of post-coitus.

{ Salon | Continue reading }

It is well known that in theory and in reality people cooperate more when then expect to interact over more repetitions, and when they care more about the future.

{ Overcoming Bias | Continue reading }

unrelated { Self-Piercing at Thailand Vegetarian Festival }

In one experiment, just telling a man he would be observed by a female was enough to hurt his psychological performance.

{ Scientific American | Continue reading }

images { 1 | 2 }

Although female orgasms were reportedly most commonly experienced during foreplay, their vocalizations were reported to occur most frequently before and simultaneous with male ejaculation. So basically the women’s sex noises most frequently accompanied their partner’s orgasm. Why? It turns out, it’s because they wanted to help their partners out. Sixty-six percent reported making noise to accelerate their partner’s ejaculation. Ninety-two percent believed these vocalizations upped their partner’s self-esteem (87 percent reported vocalizing for this purpose). Other reported reasons included speeding things up, “to relieve discomfort/pain, boredom, and fatigue in equal proportion, as well as because of time limitations.”

{ Salon | Continue reading }

photo { Johan Renck }

Japanese researchers build a gun capable of stopping speakers in mid-sentence.

{ The Physics arXiv Blog | full story }

Having adequate personal space is an important aspect of users’ comfort with their environment. In a restaurant, for instance, spatial intrusion by others can lead to avoidance responses such as early departure or a disinclination to spend.

A web-based survey of more than 1,000 Americans elicited behavioral intentions and emotional responses to a projected restaurant experience when parallel dining tables were spaced at six, twelve, and twenty-four inches apart under three common dining scenarios. Respondents strongly objected to closely spaced tables in most circumstances, particularly in a “romantic” context. Not only did the respondents react negatively to tightly spaced tables but they were generally disdainful of banquette- style seating, regardless of table distance.

The context of the dining experience (e.g., a business lunch, a family occasion) is likely to be a key factor in consumers’ preferences for table spacing and their subsequent behaviors. Gender was also a factor, as women were much less comfortable than men in tight quarters. The findings are clear but the implications for restaurateurs are not, because a tight table arrangement has been demonstrated to shorten the dining cycle without affecting spending.

{ SAGE | Continue reading }

image { Desiree Dolron }

related { Monsters, daemons, and devils: The Accusations of Nineteenth-Century Vegetarian Writers | PDF }

When people have positive experiences with members of another group, they tend to generalize these experiences from the group member to the group as a whole. This process of member-to-group generalization results in less prejudice against the group. Notably, however, researchers have tended to ignore what happens when people have negative experiences with group members.

In a recent article, my colleagues and I proposed that negative experiences have an opposite but stronger effect on people’s attitudes towards groups.

{ Mark Rubin | Continue reading }

It’s estimated that 1% of the world’s population is asexual, although research is limited. Annette and others like her have never and probably will never experience sexual attraction. She has been single her whole life, something she repeatedly says that she is more than happy about. (…)

Listen to asexual people talk about everyday life and you realise they face social minefields that don’t affect people of other sexualities. “Living in a world that holds the romantic and the sexual as the highest ideals possible is difficult,” says Bryony, a 20-year-old biology student from Manchester. “The most pervasive effect on my life at the moment, as a student, is how many conversations revolve around sex and the sexual attractiveness of certain people that I just don’t really want to join in with.”

{ The Guardian | Continue reading }

related { Some people never find the love of their lives. And live to tell about it. }

In this article we explore how online daters use technology to assess and manage the real and perceived risks associated with online dating. (…)

All participants believed that online dating was risky in some manner.

To manage these risks participants used technology in various ways: ways: to assist them in assessing authenticity and compatibility, to limit their self disclosure and exposure, to undertake surveillance of others and to control their online interactions. The participants made pragmatic use of the technologies available to them to minimise the risks, deploying risk management strategies throughout their online dating experiences.

{ International Journal of Emerging Technologies and Society | Continue reading }

photo { Yoshihiro Tatsuki }

Every fall into love involves [to adapt Oscar Wilde] the triumph of hope over self-knowledge. We fall in love hoping that we will not find in the other what we know is in ourselves – all the cowardice, weakness, laziness, dishonesty, compromise and brute stupidity. We throw a cordon of love around the chosen one, and decide that everything that lies within it will somehow be free of our faults and hence loveable. We locate inside another a perfection that eludes us within ourselves, and through union with the beloved, hope somehow to maintain [against evidence of all self-knowledge] a precarious faith in the species.

{ Alain de Botton | Continue reading }

artwork { Jeremy Geddesart }

I think that good sex can keep a relationship together, but can’t make it function at any sort of meaningful level. I feel that intimacy—i.e. kissing, cuddling, or any proximal form of contact—is way more important than sex.

Understand the realities: First, sex slows down when you have kids, in both frequency and intensity due to the physical and communicative demands the kids place on a relationship. I saw a couple once where the guy said that as newlyweds he and his wife would have sex everyday—anal, too—and it was so intense she was trying to fit his cock and balls in her mouth simultaneously. They had kids. He logged more hours at the office due to their financial needs; she was exhausted from taking care of the kids all day; they spent less time together, and sex dropped to once a week. (…)

I put a good sex life behind things like philosophical alignment in financial security, child discipline, trust, not allowing your insecurities to impose on your partner, job satisfaction, substance abuse, and most importantly, selflessness. (…)

The idea of two people changing together and—more importantly— accepting each others changes over a 50-year span is delusional unless that person is undeniably your best friend in the whole world. Ever.

{ Gawker | Continue reading }

What is romantic love? Can it last forever? This article considers how romantic love adapts in long term relationships. Recently some theorists proposed adaptive reasons for romantic love to endure, which contradicts a common idea that romantic love dwindles over time in exchange for companionship.

{ SAGE | Continue reading }

photo { Dioni Tabbers & Hana Jirickova photographed by Ellen Von Unwerth for Common & Sense }

Researchers in the Face Perception Group at University of Nottingham took photographs of 34 Caucasian and 41 black African men’s faces in carefully controlled conditions and measured the skin color of the faces.

The team found that in both the African and Caucasian populations the attractiveness ratings given by the women was closely related to the amount of “golden” color in the skin. Their findings have been published in the journal Evolution and Human Behavior. (…)

In evolutionary terms, people who can identify healthy fertile mates will be more successful at leaving offspring.

“The attractive color in our face is affected by our health—especially by the amount of colorful antioxidant carotenoid pigments we get from fruit and vegetables in our diet,” says Stephen.

“These carotenoids are also thought to be good for our immune and reproductive systems, making us healthy and increasing our fertility. The masculinity of the face had no effect on the attractiveness of the face.

“Our study shows that being healthy may be the best way for men to look attractive.

{ Futurity | Continue reading }

artwork { Joseph Kosuth, Cathexis, 1981 }

To explain the pervasive role of humor in human social interaction and among mating partner preferences, Miller proposed that intentional humor evolved as an indicator of intelligence. To test this, we looked at the relationships among rater-judged humor, general intelligence, and the Big Five personality traits in a sample of 185 college-age students (115 women, 70 men).

General intelligence positively predicted rater-judged humor, independent of the Big Five personality traits. Extraversion also predicted rater-judged humor, although to a lesser extent than general intelligence. General intelligence did not interact with the sex of the participant in predicting rating scores on the humor production tasks.

The current study lends support to the prediction that effective humor production acts as an honest indicator of intelligence in humans. In addition, extraversion, and to a lesser extent, openness, may reflect motivational traits that encourage humor production.

{ Evolutionary Psychology | PDF }

Do People Know What They Want: A Similar or Complementary Partner?

In the last few decades numerous studies have been carried out on the characteristics individuals value most in a mate. Several studies have, for instance, shown that individuals, especially men, highly value a potential mate’s physical attractiveness.

Much more scarce are studies that relate individuals’ own characteristics to those they desire in a potential mate. With regard to these “relative” mate preferences two hypotheses have been presented.

First, according to the “similarity-attraction hypothesis” individuals feel most attracted to potential partners who, in important domains, are similar to themselves. Similar individuals are assumed to be attractive because they validate our beliefs about the world and ourselves and reduce the risk of conflicts. Not surprisingly therefore, similarity between partners contributes to relationship satisfaction. Because a happy and long-lasting intimate relationship contributes to both psychological and physical health, similarity between partners increases their own and their offspring’s chances of survival by helping maintain (the quality of) the pair bond.

In contrast, according to the “complementarity hypothesis” individuals feel most attracted to potential partners who complement them, an assumption that reflects the saying that “opposites attract.” Complementary individuals are assumed to be so attractive because they enhance the likelihood that one’s needs will be gratified. For example, young women who lack economic resources may feel attracted to older men who have acquired economic resources and therefore may be good providers. In addition, from an evolutionary perspective, one might argue that seeking a complementary mate, rather than a similar one, may help prevent inbreeding.

Studies on mate selection have consistently found support for the “similarity- attraction” hypothesis. Homogamy has been reported for numerous characteristics such as physical attractiveness, attachment style, political and religious attitudes, socio-economic background, level of education and IQ. In contrast, support for the “complementarity hypothesis” is much scarcer. Although many individuals occasionally feel attracted to “opposites,” attractions between opposites often do not develop into serious intimate relationships and, when they do, these relationships often end prematurely.

{ Evolutionary Psychology | PDF }

In a recent paper published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, researchers at Arizona State demonstrated that male faces are more likely than female faces to “grab” the anger from an adjacent face, while female faces are more likely to “grab” happiness.

{ Scientific American | Continue reading }

The average human vocabulary consists of approximately 20,000 word families, yet only 6000-7000 word families are required to understand most communication.

One possible explanation for this level of redundancy is that vocabulary size is selected as a fitness indicator and is used for display. Human vocabulary size correlates highly with measurable intelligence and when choosing potential mates individuals actively prefer other correlates of intelligence, such as education.

Here we show that males used more low frequency words after an imaginary romantic encounter with a young female shown in a photograph relative to when they viewed photographs of older females. Females used fewer low frequency words when they imagined a romantic encounter with a young male shown in a photograph relative to when they viewed photographs of older males.

{ Evolutionary Psychology | Continue reading }

images { 1. Veerle Frissen | 2 }

This study provides a descriptive account of kissing behavior in a large sample of undergraduate college students and considers kissing in the context of both short-term and long-term mating relationships.

Kissing was examined as a mate assessment device, a means of promoting pair bonds, and a means of inducing sexual arousal and receptivity. A total 1,041 college students completed one of three questionnaires measuring kissing preferences, attitudes, styles, and behaviors.

Results showed that females place more importance on kissing as a mate assessment device and as a means of initiating, maintaining, and monitoring the current status of their relationship with a long-term partner.

In contrast, males place less importance on kissing, especially with short-term partners, and appear to use kissing to increase the likelihood of having sex. The results suggest that kissing may play an important role as an adaptive courtship/mating ritual.

{ Evolution Psychology | PDF }

photos { Erwin Olaf }