The Allstate Corporation today issued the following statement:
We recently issued a press release on Zodiac signs and accident rates, which led to some confusion around whether astrological signs are part of the underwriting process.
Astrological signs have absolutely no role in how we base coverage and set rates. Rating by astrology would not be actuarially sound. We realize that our hard working customers view their insurance expense very seriously. So do we.
We deeply apologize for any confusion this may have caused.
Our study of more than 2,600 ads found that—contrary to popular wisdom—celebrity ads do not perform any better than non-celebrity ads, and in some cases they perform much worse.
1. North Korea, complete arseholes–even the Chinese have outgrown them.
2. Russia, a whole country run like The Sopranos only with less charm and public spiritedness.
3. Iran, such manifest dips***s that even their neigbhours want them dead.
(…)
Assange, in my opinion, has always been a stalking horse for anti-Americanism (not that that’s particularly surprising, America-haters are cheap as chips). But what’s helpful about this situation, from an American public relations perspective, is the sight of the likes of Michael Moore, Ken Loach and John Pilger rushing to this cretin’s defence claiming that the CIA has put these two women up to it in order to smear Assange. Yeah, right, I’d sooner believe the CIA had recruited Bin Laden’s beard-trimmer than these two Swedish lefties. It wasn’t his looks these women admired it was his politics; they don’t appear to bear any ideological grudge against him, it’s just that he’s the ‘worst screw ever‘ (which apparently is against the law in Sweden).
I’ve been dating this guy and the other night we finally took our clothes off. To make a long humiliating story short, he ended up admitting to me that I was too hairy. I’m okay with it, why can’t he be?
Now, as much as I would love to tell you that you are right, listen to me when I say, “You wanna be right or you wanna get laid? (…)
Also, remember, there is the “fun” part where you can pick your own design. The two most popular are the “landing strip” and the “Bermuda Triangle.”
Comments
Posted by Melsy
This is the WORST excuse for “advice” I have ever read! Go find a real man who doesn’t want a little girl’s vajayjay.
Posted by Giz
Horrible column. (…) Moreover, removing all hair is painful, doesn’t last long and leaves the area more open to infection. Nothing about it is attractive.
Posted by J
Please get rid of it, the area in question is the most beautiful landscape on the planet, and I would like to see it.
My most useful mental trick involves imagining myself to be far more capable than I am. I do this to reduce the risk that I turn down an opportunity just because I am clearly unqualified.
Here’s the official line on the prize from The Literary Review:
The Bad Sex Awards were inaugurated in 1993 in order to draw attention to, and hopefully discourage, poorly written, redundant or crude passages of a sexual nature in fiction. The intention is not to humiliate.
(…)
And Adam Ross also made the short list for the well-regarded novel “Mr. Peanut,” which includes:
“Love me!” she moaned lustily. “Oh, Ward! Love me now!”
He jumped out from his pajama pants so acrobatically it was like a stunt from Cirque du Soleil. But when he went to remove her slip, she said, “Leave it!” which turned him on even more. He buried his face into Hannah’s cunt like a wanderer who’d found water in the desert. She tasted like a hot biscuit flavored with pee.
How do you convert the whizz-bang acrobatics of Spider-Man into a live Broadway show? (…)
The show – directed by the award-winning creator of The Lion King, Julie Taymor, and with music by Bono and The Edge of U2 – had to be stopped five times to correct faulty technical equipment. (…) Reeve Carney, playing the superhero, was left swinging helplessly above the audience.
It took stage hands almost a minute to catch Carney by the feet to drag him down, and later there was some heckling.
For months, the secret talks unfolding between Taliban and Afghan leaders to end the war appeared to be showing promise, if only because of the appearance of a certain insurgent leader at one end of the table: Mullah Akhtar Muhammad Mansour, one of the most senior commanders in the Taliban movement.
But now, it turns out, Mr. Mansour was apparently not Mr. Mansour at all. In an episode that could have been lifted from a spy novel, United States and Afghan officials now say the Afghan man was an impostor, and high-level discussions conducted with the assistance of NATO appear to have achieved little.
“It’s not him,” said a Western diplomat in Kabul intimately involved in the discussions. “And we gave him a lot of money.”
