Mario is basically the most famous video game character ever. (…) His entire existence is focused on saving the incredibly helpless and abduction-prone Princess Peach, who has been kidnapped by Bowser so many times she keeps a toothbrush at his place. (…)

In Super Mario Bros. 2, you can switch among four characters at any time, and every single one of them is better than Mario. In fact, there’s no reason to ever pick anyone but the Princess, because she, like Tails, can fucking fly.

For short distances, anyway. (…) And years later she shows up in her own DS game, still with the ability to fly…

…and oh by the way she can freaking surround herself with a ball of psychic hellfire.

That game is the only one that gets the logic right: It’s Mario who gets kidnapped, and she has to go save his ass. Not only does this make more sense considering her arsenal, but we can’t figure out how she ever allows herself to get kidnapped in the first place.

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photo { Victor Cobo }

haha, leisure | February 17th, 2011