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I finally figured out how to make my dick 8 inches long. Fold it in half.

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I missed a great story circulated by my first New York roommates about how our scuzzball landlord is now embroiled in a legal fracas for renting a 1.5 million Tribeca apartment to a guy who runs a basement sex loft out of it offering “flaming massages.” The neighbors are so mad they keep smearing dog feces on the door. I could have lived without this news, but I’m happier now that I have it.

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The messages Facebook hides in an obscure folder labeled “Other.”

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